oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
