i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize