i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
