i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
