Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
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Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
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What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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