How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
