I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
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there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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