Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
