So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You are the jesus of drinking
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
