She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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