Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just found puke in my bra..
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
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