i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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