no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just invented taco cereal.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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