Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
21 Sketchy Drug Deals That Are Scary AF
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.