Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??