Sponge bath it is.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.