I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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