I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
