you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
