What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.