Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.