Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.