is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
