dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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