I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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