Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
