So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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