bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
