She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
