it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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