She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
