yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
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