i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
