shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Sorry my hands just texted you
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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