did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
