Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
two words: eviction party
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
