Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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