Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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