Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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