if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I am available for nakedness
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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