wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
