My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
