Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
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Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
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her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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