I think I died a long time ago.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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