That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
