so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
