I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
