yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
