I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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