just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize