Got a toothbrush?
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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