ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
