He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
