i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
