Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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