Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
