I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
