All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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