he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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