real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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